Friday, May 9, 2008

the waiting GAME

The thing about the Corps is that it is a long waiting game.

They require so much information during your preparation stages that its almost a filtering system to see how serious people really are about going. On top of that, they make you run around to get tested, checked, and treated before you can even get considered to go. Getting the interview is like getting all of your college application stuff in - and that is one big headache. Getting the nomination is the easy part - its just an interview with a recruiter who has returned from the Corps and is excited to see someone else experience what they did. Getting the invitation is a brutal combination of getting all your medical, legal, and dental tests/checks done and waiting for them to get around to your paperwork. They say they have stacks of paperwork to go through and medical kits to examine. I think they are just trying to get us to the point of frustration, to make us go through the mountain tops and valleys of emotional decision making, making us second guess our 27 month commitment to poor living standards and being isolated from our family and friends and from the familiar.

Thats what the process is, a patient submission to the uncertainty of the outcome with the mixed desires of really wanting to go and not wanting to leave; because it's not about not wanting go, but whether or not we really want to leave.

Then there's the question of are we really going to do anything meaningful. There is the book that the Corps hands out with narrative stories of how they've touched one person or two people's lives, or how they've touched an entire community, but didn't see the fruit of their planting until fourty years later. Then there are the countless stories of how people say they felt like they wasted 2 years of their life, didn't do anything, and just sat around and watched the sun move from the east to the west. The people who enjoyed their experiences say that the people who didn't enjoy their experiences just weren't assertive and leaders, because they say that there is always something someone can do to make a difference.

At this point, I just want to get my invitation letter so I can get excited about the prospect of going with certainty.

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For two months from July 15, 2011 onward, I'd decided to drop everything until I reached an intense level of passion for God. It required that I trusted God with my everything: finances, future, and even my daily schedule. Through this impractical process, I have found that God is even greater than anything I could've expected. This was my 62 day journey and beyond...